Me: You know :3 Undertale :3 Is :3 A lot like :3 Homestuck :3 :3
Friend: Yaya! Tem Agree!
Me: don’t you be facetious with me, [FRIEND NAME] Alistair Fredrickson
Me: (that’s your upper-middle class teen name for when I have to be a mother to you)
Friend: XD
Me: Imagine us going to a PTA meeting and me passive aggressively judging the other parents’ kids like “My son is better than them”
Friend: That’d be funny.
Friend: “Oh, a Call of Duty fan, hm…? You have fun with that.”
Me: XD yeeees. “A Microsoft fanboy? I know whose birthday parties I won’t let my son go to.”
Me: “Oh, Ruth, I’m so glad to hear Billy got honor roll! Can’t wait to see him in retail 10 years later.”!
Friend: XD
Me: “Those brownies are nice, but I prefer my home made apple turnover.”
Me: ok I’m done with the PTA au
Friend: “Oh, your kid likes Dragon Ball? Say no more, I know JUST the kind of person he is.”

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Friend: Despite how much I love anime though, I watch it much less often than you’d think
Me: : o I thought you caressed anime every night, grasping its firm voluptuous regions with an iron grip
Friend: well, I do…
Friend: but actually paying attention to it happens not to often
Friend: she loves me tho
Me: D’aaaw ❤
Friend: lul
Me: every night
Me: I shove a piano up my ass
Friend: how romantic
Me: each key is named after the butt
Me: A: Anus, B: Butthole, C: Crap chute, D: Defecation Hole, E: Excrement Hole, F: Farthole, G: GIoryhole
Friend: please no more XD
Me: good thing there’s only 7 key types :3
Friend: oh lol
Friend: Your humor is very Arin-y today
Me: >: D well I dooo fall asleep to the sound of his and Dan’s majestic voices most nights
Me: I’ve undergone Arinosmosis
Friend: lol
Me: He’s penetrated me. Emotionally.
Me: it’s why most of my dick is shoved into my personality
Me: XD XD XD
Me: I’m on fire
Friend: *Splashes water on you*
Me: aw ❤ you always know how to make me wet
Friend: *Hands you a pie* I made it nice and creamy for you
Friend: #i’mhorrible
Me: pffft XD I’ll consume this creampie via enema
Friend: enema is… what exactly?
Me: you use a tube to send nutrients directly into your colon, where it gets absorbed
Me: [something about Bear Grylls having an enema with bird guano] it was like Bear Grylls was reverse crapping

Me: I bet when my OC was killing her mom, her mom thought “I didnt raise my child to be such a fucking yandere trash.” #MyOC’sMom’sAWeaboo2016
Friend: XD
Me: The real reason my OC killed her mom: she borrowed my OC’s manga and never returned it
Friend: XDDD That’s so great
Me: omg now it makes sense why she liked your OC now. ’cause yellow fever.
Friend: XD are you making this fucking canon?
Me: yes. henceforth, both the canon depicted in the original RP and this version of the canon are equally valid and it’s up to the reader to decide which they like more
Me: I HAVE SPOKEN

Me: I neeeeeeeeeed
Me: creative outleeeeeeet
Me: before I collapse
Me: Where be Red and his posts?
Friend: In the void of “I need you to be patient”
Friend: Which unfortunately is something that few things escape from
Me: *stares into the void. the void winks back. initiates flirting process. gets married to the void*
Friend: …omg you’re Exdeath
Me: ? 😐 ?
Me: oh, FF
Friend: [Video link]
Friend: That will bring context to the joke.
Me: XD XD XD
Me: mmm gotta love that void
Me: gotta seek it
Friend: This is but a small fraction of the amount of times he says “The Void” throughout the entire game. literally every cutscene he’s in has that phrase.
Me: My brain’s now oversaturated with the Void
Me: I don’t like it anymore
Friend: XD divorce it then
Me: *files necessary paperwork*
Me: *takes the pretty half of the china set*
Friend: Did you at least get to tap that before you divorced it?
Me: Darling, the void fucked me over before I was born : D

Friend: Shadow the Sexhog
Me: Sexic the Hedgehog. Tails the Sex. Sexckles the Echidna.
Friend: Rouge the Hooker
Me: Charmy Peen
Friend: 420BlazeIt the Cat
Me: V-aginal insp-ECTOR the Crocodile. I SOLVED THE CASE
Friend: BigButt the Cat
Me: Espio the Voyeuristic Chameleon. MIGHTY THE ARMADILDO
Friend: Tittykal
Me: Wave The SWALLOW
Me: Jet the Hawt.
Friend: OvipositionMan